You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
Psalm 139:13-18

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

4 Months, 1 Week, and 2 days: 08.03.2011

Oh, boy! You are really growing quickly, just like your sister did/does. You've been eating rice cereal and oatmeal since last Monday, and it doesn't seem to be filling you up. So a couple of days ago, I started you on peas. I'm not sure that you like the taste too much, but you're eating them pretty well. It takes you a few days to eat the entire jar. You're such a big boy already, sitting in the high chair with us during meals!

About a month ago, I laid you down (on your back) on your playmat while I went into the kitchen to wash dishes. All the sudden I heard you crying so hard! You rarely do that, so it worried me. I ran in, and saw that you had rolled over to your tummy! I think it probably scared you a little. I'm sad that I missed your first roll, but you are close to doing it again. All the time, I see you roll completely on your side, and then just when I think you're going to make it over, you fall back down on your back! You are so precious!

And I have to say, I have NEVER-in all my days-seen a more smiley baby. If anyone so much as looks at you, you flash the biggest smile! You especially like to smile at Mommy. Sometimes when Daddy holds you and is trying to get your attention, you just look around until you find Mommy and then start smiling at me. It makes me crack up! I'm pretty sure you're a mama's boy, through and through.

Last week at your 4 month checkup you were almost 17 lbs, and 27 inches long. You are in the 85th percentile for weight, and 95th percentile for height. You mostly wear 6-9 month clothing, but some things (especially pajamas) you wear 12 months in. I'm pretty sure you are going to be tall like Grandpa Bret!

Mollie is so very much in love with you. You are the first person she asks to see in the morning, and is always wanting to give you little kisses. She calls you "Baby Ebby." She brings you toys to play with, pacifiers when you fuss, blankets to keep you warm, and she likes to blow bubbles for you. She sits right in front of you and blows bubbles in your face. You seem to like it a lot!

You've been such a great sleeper, just like your sissy. You usually go to bed around 7:30, and wake up between 6:30-7:30. You've also been sleeping in your crib like a big boy since you were 6 weeks old. I'm very proud of you!

Mommy, Daddy, and Mollie love you so very much. You have made our lives even better and happier! We feel so blessed to have two little angels as our babies!!

Love you to the moon and back,
Mommy :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Everett's Debut

The first four or five months that I was pregnant with Mollie were very difficult for me. I had extreme nausea and had a very hard time eating and keeping food down. Even water made me feel sick! But the last four months of that pregnancy were really nice. Sure, it was uncomfortable carrying a 10.1 lb. baby inside of me towards the end, but really it wasn't so bad. I was on bed rest towards the end because my feet swelled so much that I couldn't wear shoes to work, and I needed to keep my feet up as much as possible. But I wasn't in pain or anything like that. My time home was actually really nice. I went swimming every day, and took the dog on short walks near our house. It was kind of like a mini vacation.

When Mollie turned 9 or 10 months, Jordan and I started talking about having another baby. We both liked the idea of having two children close in age so that they could grow up good friends. Mollie was such an easy baby (sleeping through the night almost right away), that the idea of another baby didn't feel overwhelming. The first month that Jordan and I started "trying," was the month we found out we were pregnant! We were at our friend's house (Dawn and Chris), who had just found out they were pregnant about a week earlier. I mentioned to her that I had been feeling a little funny, and she told me to go ahead and try one of her extra pregnancy tests. I ran to the bathroom, not really expecting it to say positive... and then it said positive! I ran out of the bathroom and showed it to Jordan and Dawn. We were blown away!

From the beginning this pregnancy was much different than my first. I only felt sick a handful of times. Before having that experience, I swore that people who claimed they didn't feel sick during their pregnancies were liars and that they were simply trying to make others feel inferior. But now I believe them. Regardless, this pregnancy was awesome for the first few months. I felt pretty great! When we went to get our first ultrasound, we were told that we were having a boy. I was thrilled! Honestly, I would have been thrilled either way. From my viewpoint, two girls close in age would have been a blast. Sweet little girls, dressing alike, best of friends, etc. On the other hand, how great it would be to have a girl and a boy! Having one of each is very exciting because you have Daddy's little man, and Mommy's little girl (though I am seeing that Mollie has Jordan wrapped around her little finger, and everyone who has a boy tells me that they end up being partial to Mommy... so we'll see). The only issue we were facing at this point was what we would name him!

Before we knew that Mollie was a girl, we started making a list of names. We had a ton of great names for girls, but only one name for a boy: Oliver. Luckily, when we found out were having a girl, we had plenty of names to choose from... but not this time! We couldn't name our baby boy Oliver, because it would just be silly to have a Mollie and an Ollie (not to mention our dogs name is Denali). Jordan had a huge list of names, but they were unreal. His favorite of course, was Leroy Washington Trowell. I am not kidding. There were many more names similar in caliber, but I won't list them in fear of hurting other people's feelings (God forbid I put a name on here that someone picked for their own child or something!). Of course we eventually settled on Everett Davis, but that wasn't until the third trimester.

Within the next week I started having bad cramping in my lower back. The doctor said there was some blood in my urine, and he immediately sent me to get another ultrasound to look for Kidney Stones. At 18 weeks, we learned that I had both kidney stone gravel and full placenta previa, a condition that can be quite serious. Basically, the normal placement of the placenta is on the top side wall of the womb, but mine was below the baby, completely covering the cervix. In many cases, placenta previa resolves itself because as the womb grows the placenta migrates to a higher location (think about drawing a dot on a balloon and then blowing the balloon up; the dot doesn't actually "move," but rather migrates). However, full placenta previa has a much lower chance of resolving than when it is partially covering the cervix. The doctor put me on pelvic rest (which I remained on for the duration of my pregnancy... God bless my husband), told me not to lift anything heavy, and to take it easy. This is not easy to do when you have a one year old!

I quickly found out how difficult this was going to be.

Jordan works a lot of Saturdays, and when he was gone I wasn't able to pick Mollie up to put her in her crib for nap time. I tried laying on the floor with her... yeah right. At 13 months old, I decided to change her crib into a toddler bed. It was the only way I was going to be able to get her in the bed when I was alone with her. Much to my amazement, she took to it like a champ. For the first two or three weekends, we had a difficult time trying to get her to stay in the bed for naps (luckily, she went right down for bed at night... sometimes telling us she was ready for bed (saying, "night, night") and just tucking herself in! But still, I had to go in a zillion times and put her back in bed for naps. But, after the first few weekends of this, she stopped getting out of bed and went right down for her nap! She has been in a toddler bed ever since. I know that 13 months is a very early age for such a transition, but I really didn't have another choice. Thank God it worked out!

So with the transition to the toddler bed, and Jordan now taking Mollie to daycare, I no longer had to lift anything heavy (Mollie). I mean, I still carried heavy bags to and from work, and I'm not going to lie... I sometimes still picked Mollie up because how could I not occasionally pick up and console my tiny crying child? But the more I did this, the more frequent the cramping became. I told my doctor, and he basically woke me up. He explained the seriousness of the previa. He said that in almost all cases, these babies are born between 28-36 weeks because most women experience contractions and bleeding off and on throughout the pregnancy until they can't control the bleeding and have to take the baby out. If I didn't stop putting pressure on my placenta (by picking up heavy things and by simply bending over), then the results could be grave. If I went into labor too soon, then I would either lose the baby or hemorrhage. Other concerns he had about the placement of the placenta were due to performing the actual c-section. Apparently the placenta is made up of veins that are as thick as your fingers. Because of the low placement, he was concerned that they would cut into one of those veins during the operation, thus causing me to hemorrhage. In addition to that, the placement of the placenta greatly increased the risk that the placenta could attach and grow deep inside the uterine wall, rendering it difficult to just pull it out at the time of surgery, and instead, having to surgically remove it causing me to have a hyterectomy. Another possibility, due to a repeat c-section, was that the lining of the uterus would become too thin (called a "window"), making it too dangerous to have more c-sections. If a window occurred, I would need to have my tubes tied. As you can imagine, this was a lot of information to process. The doctor (who I love DEARLY) wasn't trying to scare me, but he wanted to be honest about the risks. He said the goal was to make it to 37 weeks, and "at this point, every week is a gift." That sobered me up.

Every time I started having contractions, I sat and rested until they went away, or I went to the hospital. This started happening on and off from 18 weeks on. I must have gone to the hospital at least 8 times. I dreaded going to the bathroom because I was so afraid that I would see blood on the tissue. It only happened a couple of times, and it was very light. Still scary, but I know just how lucky I really am (especially after looking at support blogs for the condition and seeing so many postings from all these women who had severe bleeding throughout their pregnancies or who had lost their babies... God bless them!).

In December, I got a job working in the ESE department at district office (prior to this I was teaching in multiple classrooms). This job couldn't have come at a better time. Aside from it being my dream job, I was able to sit a LOT more. Because of this job change, I was able to work a lot longer than I would have if I had still been school based. At every appointment, the doctor would say, "and your on bed rest, right?" And I would reply, "No, I'm not in the classroom anymore. I sit a lot more now and am able to take it easy." He would always reply with a hesitant, "Hmmm... Ok. Well, we'll talk about it the next time I see you." I finally started feeling so uncomfortable and in pain that I stopped trying to convince him that I should keep working. He put me on bed rest the following week (on February 16th), two months before my due date.

The last two months were CRAZY.

Right after I was put on bed rest, my placenta migrated away from the cervix. It was still low lying, but at least it wasn't covering my cervix anymore! However, my blood count became low (adding to the concern for hemmoraging) and the baby was transverse. Apparently it's pretty difficult to get a sideways baby out. The doctor said they have to kind of reach in there and feel for body parts... lovely. I also started getting more frequent and painful contractions, causing me to go to the hospital several times a week to get shots of terbutaline to make them stop. I guess my body kept going into labor, but there were no changes in my cervix or anything like that because the baby was putting no pressure down below (because he was sideways). So I had to just keep going back to the hospital and have them settle my uterus down. On one of my visits they gave me an ultrasound and discovered that the amniotic fluid was really low, so I had to get fluids pumped through me for over 24 hours. Lots of scary stuff.

The morning of March 25th, I started having painful contractions once again. I had just been to the hospital three days prior to this visit and had received my two shots of terbutaline like I had needed in the past. I was a lot less nervous this time around because I knew I had finally made it to 37 weeks. However, I wasn't prepared to actually have the baby yet because I knew that the doctor really wanted me to get to 39 weeks to ensure the health of the baby. As you can imagine, when he walked into the room and said I would be having the baby within the next two hours, I was really surprised. I am definitely a planner and like to be prepared for big events such as this (which is why having a scheduled c-section with Mollie worked out very well for me).

I had a million things racing through my head as the nurses were walking me into the operating room, but I really tried to focus on staying calm and letting go of my fears. Everything was out of my control and I needed to put my trust in God's hands, which is what I did. As they laid me down on the table I asked what the results of my blood were, and they said my blood levels all came back completely normal. That was the first thing that made me start to feel a little more at ease. Then, after the doctor entered the womb, he told me that there was no "window." Soon after, I heard the baby crying. I had a lot less pressure this time around than I did with Mollie. Apparently, as I laid on the operating table, the baby's position moved from sideways, to head down. Keep in mind that he had been sideways for two months straight. Unbelieveable! Last but not least, the placenta came right off, and the doctor told me that he had missed cutting into it by a hair.

I really feel blessed that I was able to overcome the odds. Even more amazing to me is how everything rectified itself at the last minute. I really learned a wonderful lesson from God: Stop worrying, and put my trust and faith in Him. I also really believe in the power of prayer, as I had hundreds of people praying for me and the baby. Now we are blessed with a healthy baby boy who literally sleeps 23 and a half hours a day, and his sweet sister who loves him SO VERY MUCH.

My healing has been way faster this time, and I experienced a lot less pain. After a week and four days I had already lost 22 lbs,, and was able to start picking Mollie up again. As of today the little man is 2 weeks and 1 day old, and we are all doing awesome. We have all adjusted very easily, and once again I have a great sleeper on my hands (he only wakes up once a night!). Mollie and Everett are really so amazing. I am enjoying watching all the awesome milestones Mollie is hitting, while also having a newborn baby in the house again. Life is great!

(I haven't downloaded pictures yet, but I will soon.)

Monday, March 15, 2010

5 Months, 3 days: 3/12/10

Being a mother is everything to me. Having a little life to look after and to help develop shows you where to shift your life focus. Things aren't holding as much importance as time does; and not just time, but the quality of time has become so precious. I try to capture, in my minds eye, everything. Of course this is probably an impossible task, but maybe when our souls continue their journey to the unknown, all of those memories are recalled with ease. I sure hope to.

Looking into such innocent and loving eyes is, to me, a heavenly experience (so much so, that it can move me to tears of happiness if thought about too long). It's inconceivable to me that one day the tiny delicate hand of my baby will grow to match my hand for size. Her little voice, now consumed by a language that only she understands, will soon be filled with real words easily flowing from her tongue. What a strange idea.

I try to shift my focus to the now- the present -because that's a lesson I've already learned well in life. Like most kids and teenagers, I was so anxious to grow-up and be big, that I didn't fully appreciate my position in life until I was old enough to look back at it all. That's why I try to embrace every moment; Focusing on the important and not trivializing the silly spats and unimportant jabber that daily life throws at me. I must now lead by example.

The love a mother has for her child can be surpassed by nothing. This is God's design, and He works so perfectly. What a miraculous gift.

5 Months Old: 3/9/10

Happy Birthday, big girl! You are officially a toddler now... no longer fitting into the category of little baby. I came to this realization a couple of days ago, and started bawling. It's not that I'm sad about your getting bigger... because I'm really excited about all of the new things you are doing. Time just seems to be on fast forward, and it's all happening so quickly.

On February 28th, you started eating brown rice cereal with a spoon, and my, how you loved it! Once you start to see that spoon coming your way, you grab it with both hands and shove it in your mouth. You have an iron grip too, so I have to pry your hands off to get the spoon back. You were doing so great with the cereal, that I decided to move you on to sweet potatoes, last Friday. You have turned into a little sweet potato fiend. Your appetite is so ferocious, that you can eat an entire serving of sweet potatoes (homemade with Mommy's milk- organic, of course!) followed by five ounces of milk! You are a growing girl. You've been wearing 9-12 month clothing for the last month!

These days, you are jumping up a storm in your jumparoo. It's exciting to see you so intrigued by all the little toys on it. Last Sunday, out of no where, you started reaching your hands out for people. I must say, you are quite the flirt (we better nip that in the bud)! You've hit so many milestones over the last two weeks that I don't even know where to start.

Last weekend you started sitting up on your own for short periods at a time (10 seconds). This last Sunday, you sat in a big kid highchair at a restaurant. Where has my baby gone?! Though you are still too little to crawl on your own, you managed to crawl across Mommy and Daddy's bed by pulling on the sheets. You sure moved fast- it actually kind of shocked me! If we let you hold on to something, you can stand for ten seconds at a time. A few weeks ago, Daddy was making silly noises and you laughed so hard. He actually got a few giggles out of you. SInce then, you have done it another handful of times and it's about the cutest thing ever in the world. When we hear your laugh, it makes us laugh, which in turn, makes you laugh even harder! You are still a little talker. I'm so excited for the day (which is fast approaching) when you'll start saying real words. Until then, I'll happily settle for the jibber jabber language freely flying from your vocal chords.

As of yesterday, you officially entered the teething stage! Your teacher, Ms. Kathy, said that you cried all day. At first she wasn't sure what to think because she had never seen you cry before! Today, I packed some medicine and teething rings. I hope that it helps to relieve the pain. I sure hate for you to be sad!

My little girl is growing up so fast. I love, love, love you.

xoxo Mommy

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

4 Months Old: 2/9/10


My Dearest Mollie,

Today you are 4 months old. You are developing so quickly! When I look at pictures of you during your first few weeks of life, I am shocked at how much you have grown and all of things that you can now do. You have always been a very smiley girl, but now that is all you do! WHen Mommy or Daddy walk in to the room, or you hear our voices, you look around until you find us. As soon as our eyes meet, you let out a little giggle because you are so delighted. As of late, all you want to do is chew on things and roll from side to side. Sometimes you roll all the way over on to your belly! When we are in the car for a while or you start to get tired, you become a little chatterbox. You just go on and on, making the funniest noises. Daddy and I laugh so hard because you are just so darn cute! A few nights ago we put you to bed with us, and you reached out and grabbed daddy's arm with one hand and mine with the other. You sure know how to melt our hearts!




I think that some of your favorite things to do are to talk to: talk to Mommy and Daddy, roll around on your play mat, watch our dog Denali, play with the toys in your jumperoo, listen to people talk to you, take baths (especially with mommy), watch the other babies at school, sit outside and look around, chew on your giraffe, nurse on mommy, and of course your very favorite thing in the world to do is to smile. You've also been reaching out to touch or grab things. Like a couple of weeks ago, you started pulling on your little musical giraffe toy that hangs from your car seat, just to gear the songs it plays. You are such a smart little girl! You are so fascinated by what goes on around you.




I'm so blessed to have such a sweet, happy, and healthy baby like you. I can barely remember what life was like before you came along. I feel like my sole purpose in life was to have you and to be your mommy. You are such a sweet gift from God. Your life has changed both me and daddy in such a wonderful way. We live for our girl and cherish every minute we have together as a family. One day (a very long time from now) you will have a baby of your own- and only then will you know just how much I lvoe you. Even though you aren't inside my tummy anymore, you are still, and always will be, a part of me. When you are sad, or hurt, or happy, or excited... I feel it so deeply.

Happy Birthday, my little Milk Monster.
You are a constant ray of sunshine. We are so truly blessed.

xoxo
Mommy

Monday, January 11, 2010

3 Months, 2 Days

Today was your first day at daycare. I was really nervous, and cried the whole way to work, but I knew in my heart that you would be fine... and you were. I don't think it affected you at all! But for me, it was very difficult to leave you behind. The entire day I kept thinking about your chubby cheeks and pretty pink skin; wondering what you were doing and if you were enjoying yourself. I know that as of late you have had a hard time being away from Mommy, but the ladies at your daycare said that you were the best baby that have! They couldn't get over how calm and sweet you were. Out of all the babies, you were the best behaved! I guess you had some very poopy diapers, and they had to change your clothes two different times! Oh my goodness, what a poopy girl! I called during my lunch break to see how you were doing, and you had just awakened from a nap. They put the phone up to your little ear and let me say hello. They told me that when you heard Mommy's voice you smiled a really big smile, which of course made me feel happy (but also made me miss you even more). When it was time for me to leave work, I practically ran out to the car because I was so anxious to see you. I think you probably had a nice time there because you seem to enjoy watching other people, and there was a lot to see there. It was much harder on me to be apart from you, because I just love you so much!! Soon enough I will get more comfortable with you being there. I am really excited for this weekend though, because I have Monday off. That means I get to spend three entire days in a row with you! I just can't wait!

When we got home, you were really hungry, and nursed for almost forty minutes (normally it takes you less than 20 minutes to eat)! When you were done, all you wanted to do was stand up on my legs. I can't believe how strong you are getting. You were practically standing up on your own; only needing me to support you under your arms a little bit. I wonder if you might walk a little early. I'm not sure.... but I do know that you are a standing girl!

I love my girl!

Love,
Mommy

Saturday, January 9, 2010

3 Months Old

Miss Mollie,

Happy Birthday! Today you are three months old. I can't believe how quickly time passes. It sounds cliche, but it is just unbelievable how fast it all goes by. In the last few weeks, you have changed so much! You have been such a smiley little girl. When Daddy and I come into your room in the morning to get you ready for the day, you always greet us with a big, beautiful smile. Sometimes you get so happy to see us, you make a little squeak! When you hear Mommy or Daddy's voices, you look around the room until you see us. Though you have been sitting in your big girl Bumbo seat for a while now, you started sitting in it for longer periods of time on your own about a week ago. Sometimes we sit on the floor together (me on the ground and you in your Bumbo), and I read you books from your library. We have so much fun together! Yesterday, we put you in your jumperoo and you stood in it on your own and held on to the toys! What a big girl! You have also started talking a whole bunch. Of course you aren't actually saying any words, but you sure are trying! We have little conversations sometimes where you just talk and talk... it's so funny! I think you are going to be a little chatter-box.


Just last week you started to react more to people's faces, and it is so exciting to watch. While Mommy is feeding you, we stare into each other's eyes, and you often stop drinking for a moment to give me a big smile. Everything about you is so wonderful and perfect. It's like I love you so much that it almost hurts.


Four days ago, during tummy time, you tried to roll over for the first time. You would have made it too (because you were all the way on your side), if it wasn't for your right arm against your body stopping you! I just can't believe how much you are growing up. Though you still look a lot like your Daddy, you are starting to take on more of my characteristics (which is exciting!). You still love, love, LOVE your bath time... kicking as hard as you can and smiling all the while. In the last three days, you sometimes get upset when your tired and anyone other than Mommy tries holding you. Daddy came home for lunch, just to see his beautiful girl, and when he put his face up to yours, you stuck your bottom lip out and started wailing. We couldn't believe it! He tried a few more times, and you kept crying! Today you did that again when Grandpa Bret tried to hold you. What a fussy gus!


Aside from wanting Mommy, you are a very, very good girl. You have been sleeping through the night for months now (sleeping from 7pm-7am), and you rarely cry or fuss. Everywhere we go, people comment on how relaxed and mellow you are. We are so lucky to have such a good little girl! Sometimes I just sit you down and give you your little rubber giraffe, and you happily sit, chewing on him. Just this week you have started to hold on to your animals a little bit here and there, and sometimes you are able to put them up towards your mouth on your own. It doesn't happen a lot, but you are learning quickly! Pretty soon you will be chewing on everything. Daddy and I laugh because you LOVE to suck on your thumb so much. We sometimes try to put the binky in your mouth, and more times than not you spit it out and choose to suck on your fingers instead. You sure love that thumb!


Today, on your three month birthday, it snowed where we live. At our house we had sleet, but just down the road it snowed! That is a very special birthday gift from God, because it has only snowed here one other time that I know of. Right now it is only 17 degrees outside, so we have been bundling you up like a little Eskimo baby. What a very special day it was today! This is a day that I will remember always. You have reached so many milestones already, and there are many more in sight. Part of me misses my tiny baby that didn't do anything but lay in my arms and sleep, but the other part of me is excited to see you learning and growing into a bright and interesting person. I love you sweet pea! You are so amazing in every way, and I look forward to the amazing memories we will make together.

I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy